Coming Up for Air
by Celery Sticks
Summary: "Knowing that Yumi wouldn't catch her staring, wouldn't see her smiling like a love struck fool allowed her to keep on doing it. It was indulging her… but keeping her in a rut. If only Yumi would catch her staring and smile back at her, then maybe Sachiko would have the confidence to confess."


Sachiko was lucky Yumi was so oblivious. Very lucky.

If Yumi hadn't been so quick to downplay herself, hadn't been so thoroughly convinced that she was nothing special, Ogasawara Sachiko would be in very hot water. It didn't matter how harshly the rules and laws of proper society had been drilled into her head; love always beat discipline. Recently, Sachiko had realized that love itself was a form of discipline: a much harsher, involuntary form of discipline that commanded one's thoughts completely…

It was almost as if her consciousness had been commandeered. She had no control over her thoughts, her actions; everything she did seemed to happen without her knowledge.

Staring at Yumi for minutes at time? Not her idea.

Fixing the other girl's scarf when it was perfectly ironed and tied? Not her idea.

Smiling dumbly at Yumi while the other girl wasn't looking? Not her idea.

Not consciously, at least. What went on in her subconscious was, well… another matter entirely.

And every time she caught herself, it was like coming up from underwater; she'd blink, inhale sharply, and shake her head, a feeble attempt at regaining control over herself. It never worked, because soon afterwards she'd find herself doing the very same thing. That was when the blushes came; the uncomfortable warmth gathering in her cheeks, spreading to her ears.

And it was getting worse.

Before Yumi, Sachiko had never blushed.

Before Yumi, she'd never felt the need to be tested for narcolepsy, because her Yumi Spells really truly felt like she was caught in some kind of dream, and coming out of them was like trying to get up in the morning. Just as she was content to stay in bed for an extra five or ten minutes each morning, Sachiko found it harder and harder to drag her gaze away from Yumi… and recently she'd noticed that her hands tended to linger on her petite soeur's shoulders even after her scarf had been tied.

Before Yumi, Sachiko had never _not_ been in complete control.

It was becoming increasingly obvious to everyone but Yumi, it seemed. Rei had begun sporting a superior, knowing smile that irritated Sachiko to no end, and even Noriko had taken to sending her curious glances every now and then.

Sachiko kept telling herself that she needed to rein her feelings in, take back control of her thoughts… maybe think of something other than Yumi for more than five seconds. But then her love for the other girl (which had established itself as a second, nagging voice in her head) asked her, "What else would you think about? Why would you want to think about anything other than Yumi? You love her, you know you do. Even if you won't admit it."

And that was the problem. Sachiko wouldn't admit it; she didn't have the strength to. Not yet. But it seemed that every day, the voice in her head grew stronger, and the force required to break out of a Yumi Spell grew greater. Sachiko was head over heels in love, and the fact that she'd stopped denying it said a lot… it wouldn't be long before something snapped and her feelings came spilling out of her.

If Yumi hadn't been as oblivious to the love that it seemed every girl in school had for her, they wouldn't be where they were now. The fact that Yumi couldn't see how bad Sachiko really had it was in fact the very thing that had allowed her to fall as hard as she had. With each touch, stare, smile and thought Sachiko's budding infatuation hadn't come under scrutiny, and had been allowed to bloom.

If at the start of their unique relationship Yumi had caught her staring or questioned it when her grande soeur felt the need to fix her scarf when it didn't need fixing, Sachiko probably would have been too afraid to let herself fall in love. A questioning gaze or the need for an explanation would have scared her off.

Instead, all she'd ever gotten from the other girl were the sweetest of smiles… except for the (Sachiko wished she could say "few" here) times Yumi had shed tears due to a careless word or thoughtless action on her part. At those times, Sachiko felt like the worst person in the world; causing an angel harm was a most grievous offense, especially when you were in love with said angel.

But we've digressed.

Though Yumi's obliviousness had fed her love and allowed it to grow, Sachiko felt that now it was suffocating her, caging her in. Knowing that Yumi wouldn't catch her staring, wouldn't see her smiling like a love struck fool allowed her to keep on doing it. It was indulging her… but keeping her in a rut. If only Yumi would catch her staring and smile back at her, then maybe Sachiko would have the confidence to confess.

And God how she wanted to confess.

The day might come though, that such a thing might happen. It might be coming very soon. Yumi was a stronger girl than she had been when Sachiko had first met her; she'd earned her place on the Yamayurikai and she'd earned her place in Sachiko's heart. She could look Sachiko in the eye and smile, speak her mind and she'd become quite good at handling her grande soeur.

All she needed to do was realize what a wonderful girl she truly was. She needed to see how much she was loved by those around her.

On that day Yumi would see Sachiko smiling, and she just might smile back.

And in seeing that smile, the voice in her head would take over, and she wouldn't be afraid to tell Yumi how she felt. She'd tell her Yumi just how much she meant to her, how much she loved her. And after that her Yumi Spells wouldn't end in confusion and embarrassment; they'd be met with happy little grins and the gentlest of touches…

…and Sachiko would be in heaven.


End file.
